installing new "Drive through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research,
MALE & FEMALE
procedures have been developed.
NB
Please Follow The Appropriate Steps For Your Gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1) Drive up to the cash machine
2) Put down your car window
3) Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4) Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5) Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6) Put window up
7) Drive off
1) Drive up to cash machine
2) Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine
3) Set parking brake, put the window down
4) Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card
5) Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6) Attempt to insert card into machine
7) Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
8) Insert card
9) Re-insert card the right way
10) Dig through handbag to find dairy with your PIN written on the inside back page
11) Enter PIN
13) Enter amount of cash required
14) Check make-up in rear view mirror
15) Retrieve cash and receipt
16) Empty handbag again to locate Wallet and place cash inside
17) Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook
18) Recheck make-up
19) Drive Forward 2 feet
20) Reverse back to cash machine
22) Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23) Give appropriate one fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you
24) Restart stalled engine and pull off
25) Redial person on cell phone
26) Drive for 2 to 3 miles
27) Release parking Brake
Ifochapi!
